I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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