who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
