Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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