I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize