Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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