we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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