Cold hands, warm shart.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
