i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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