He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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