I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
