she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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