from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
