TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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