her vagine was all disorganized.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
