He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
