mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
The air taste purple.
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