You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
