so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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