so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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