you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
