Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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