the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
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Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
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I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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