You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
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