Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
