dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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