I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
