The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize