so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
