it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
you never un-have a 4some
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
