So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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