We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
