Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
