By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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