Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
as a side note pls kill me
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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