I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Sober January is a disaster.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
