I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
