You're completely useless in the revolution.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize
