If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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