screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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