This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
