May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
