You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
