is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
