So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She announced her abortion via fbk
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
