you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
how drunk are you?
Several
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
he high fived his dick after we had sex
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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