so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize