the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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