God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.