My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize