That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
