I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
