this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
