The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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