today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I deserve this hangover.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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