Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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