I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
