just come out here and I will go home with you...
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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